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Looking after yourself as a carer
Carers are good at putting themselves last. You can run for months on adrenaline and duty — right up until the day your own health gives way and there’s no one to step in. Looking after yourself isn’t selfish. It’s the foundation everything else rests on.
Know the warning signs
Burnout creeps up. Watch for constant tiredness that sleep doesn’t fix, snapping at people you love, losing interest in things you used to enjoy, broken sleep, frequent colds and bugs, or a flat, low feeling that won’t lift. Feeling resentful and then guilty about feeling resentful is one of the most common — and most normal — experiences in caring. None of it means you’re doing a bad job. It means you’re human and you’re carrying a lot.
Claim your own support
You have a legal right to a carer’s assessment from your Trust or council, separate from the person you care for. It looks at your needs — your health, work, sleep and the break you need — and can lead to respite, practical help and information about benefits like Carer’s Allowance. Ask for one. Too few carers do.
Protect your own health
- Keep your own GP appointments and tell them you’re a carer — many surgeries keep a carers’ register and offer extra support.
- Don’t skip your own meals, medication or check-ups because you’re too busy.
- Hold on to one thing that’s yours — a walk, a friend, a hobby — however small.
You don’t have to do it alone
Talking to other carers helps more than almost anything, because they understand without explanation. Look for a local carers’ centre or support group, or organisations like Carers UK and Carers NI. Sharing the practical load matters too — let family and friends do specific jobs (“could you do Tuesday’s shopping?” works better than “let me know if you can help”).
When it’s more than tiredness
If low mood, anxiety or hopelessness settles in and stays, please treat it as seriously as you’d treat it in the person you care for. Speak to your GP. Caring is one of the hardest things people do, and needing support to keep going is ordinary, not weak.