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Living well with incontinence

Few things are harder to talk about, and few things cause more quiet distress. But incontinence is common in older age, it is not an inevitable part of getting old, and a good deal of it can be improved or even cured. The first step is taking it seriously rather than just buying pads.

Get it checked — it’s often treatable

A sudden change can be a sign of a urine infection, which is easily treated. Other causes — constipation pressing on the bladder, certain medicines, weak pelvic floor, prostate trouble — all have answers. So before you accept it as something to simply manage, see the GP. They can also refer to the NHS continence service, specialist nurses who assess the problem and arrange the right products and support, often delivered free to the home.

Practical, dignified management

Don’t cut back on drinks

It’s tempting to drink less to avoid accidents, but that backfires — concentrated urine irritates the bladder and makes urgency worse, and it risks dehydration and infection. Keep fluids up through the day and ease off only in the couple of hours before bed. Cutting down on tea, coffee and fizzy drinks, which irritate the bladder, helps more than cutting water.

Protect the skin

Skin that’s often damp gets sore quickly. Wash gently with plain water, dry thoroughly, and use a barrier cream if the skin is reddening. Watch for any broken skin and mention it to the district nurse — this is exactly the sort of thing they help with.

Looking after the carer too

Managing someone else’s continence is tiring and can feel relentless, with extra laundry and broken nights. This is a fair reason to ask for more help at a carer’s assessment, whether that’s a carer calling in, laundry support or a night-sitting service.